My son is 14 and is in his Freshman year of high school. The stress that I’ve been dealing with when it comes to him, I’m afraid will land me in the cukoo bin. I remember what its like to be that age and I promised myself that I would always keep in mind the way that I wish my mom would have handled situations when similar situations arise. My #1 rule with my son was that he is not allowed to have a girlfriend until he is 16. I wanted to tell him not until after he graduates from college, but being realistic and not wanting him to hide things from me I settled for 16. Well I really should have said after college because I found out that he has one. When I found out I just about lost it. I took his phone away from him so that they couldn’t contact each other, threatened to follow him around school so that they couldn’t hang out (only half kidding), and when I found out that she is 2 years older than him I text her saying “This is Maui’s mom and he’s not allowed to have a girlfriend, let alone one that is 2 years older than him. Please respect that” Okay, maybe I went a bit psycho LOL, but this is my first born boy😦 I let my emotions take over.
After a couple of months I finally calmed down and knew that my attitude was going to accomplish nothing and could drive my son to being secretive with me. So I sat him down and had “the talk” with him. I basically told him that I’m not happy about him having a girlfriend and that I the reason I was so upset was because I didn’t want a relationship holding him back from having fun with his friends and distract him from school work and his sports. I told him about the diseases out there and how not protecting himself could potentially ruin the bright future I see him having. He’s an awesome athlete and I want him to strive for greatness in both sports and schooling. Since that talk we have built our mother/son relationship to include a level of friendship that I am enjoying.
It still doesn’t change the fact that everyday I have to deal with his 14 year old attitude and want to ring his neck. Last night he tells me that he’s failing math, mind you that this is only his first month of school. I had to have another talk with him about how now that he’s in high school, its so important to keep his grades up and to do what ever he has to in order to accomplish that. He said that he doesn’t understand the work and is ashamed to ask questions in class. I know exactly how he feels, because I used to be the same way. I told him to email his teacher and ask for some one on one help. Or to go to class early and ask questions before class starts.
As parents we only want to see our kids happy, healthy and successful. As a mother of 3 I still have 2 more that will one day be 14 and I pray to God that they don’t give me the attitude and stress that my oldest gives me. I’m so happy that one of my best friends and my cousin both have daughters the same age as my son, they’ve assured me that I am not alone. And to all you other mothers dealing with the challenges of adolescent kids…..I feel your stress, and know that its hard to think that these “brats” are the future LOL. Just kidding. Stay strong and love love love them!!!! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my little vent session! XOXO