Breathe…

Stay Strong - This too shall pass

In past posts I’ve touched on my personal issues with anxiety and depression- It’s a serious thing and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’s a very lonely & heavy feeling. When someone is mean to someone who suffers from anxiety it could feel 10x’s worse than it would feel to someone who doesn’t. This morning this is what happened to me. I will not go into detail about the who’s and what’s that were involved, because even though this person was mean I don’t feel right blasting them. Any who… I drove to work this morning with tears running down my face and a heavy feeling in my chest. I spoke out loud… to who?  spirit? The universe? God? I don’t know but I spoke in hopes that someone would hear my prayer. “Please take the pain away. I’m tired of feeling like this so often.” I try to fix myself up and take deep breaths because I’m approaching work, but the tears won’t stop. What I wouldn’t give to just be able to call in sick and go home and sleep the day away. I sit in the parking structure and flip the visor and look at myself in the mirror. It was like I was staring at a stranger that I wanted to help- I love myself enough to know that I deserve happiness. I spoke to my reflection just repeating “You are strong and have 3 beautiful kids. It’s enough! You are blessed! You’re a great mother and your kids love you very much” It lifted my spirits a little just to count my blessings. I’m still feeling a little “zombie-ish” but nothing compared to earlier. I guess I just share this post to let anyone else out there going through a hard time know that you are not alone. Look at the good you have in your life it really does help to focus on the positive.

lost-inside-myself

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6 thoughts on “Breathe…

  1. I am so sorry you felt this way. I’ve been there too and it IS a very lonely feeling. Its good that you counted your blessings and thought about the positive things in your life. They are what will keep you going. I found you through the Bloglovin’ blog hop be sure to keep in touch 🙂

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  2. It takes a lot of courage to openly talk about it – unless you suffer from it, it is really hard to understand… I too had a terrible 3-month patch a few months back suffering from extreme anxiety and panic attacks and the “going to work with tears streaming down your face and that choking feeling in your throat” is all too familiar. But things pass, I promise… CBT helped me a lot to control the anxiety a bit (you can download booklets with the techniques online if you don’t have a therapist), and now I take one day at a time. It is a forever struggle; some are more difficult, and most are good at the moment – but the most important thing, I haven’t felt helpless and hopeless for a while now, and it is a great feeling!
    And I do hope things are looking up for you now too!
    Lots of love,
    Dani x

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    • Thank you soooo much Dani. I’m so glad that it’s not a daily struggle for me- it sort of sneaks up on me out of nowhere. I really appreciate the advice- I’ve seen a therapist and have learned some really good mantra and breathing techniques that help me through those moments. virtual hugs to you!

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      • That is good, the techniques really help! 😀
        Just keep working on them, at one point they become automatic, hehe! I’ve been quite well for sometime now – it is so good to feel like myself again.
        xoxo

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