I feel… numb

Hey guys… We’re still here in the hospital. If you read my last post you know that we checked into the hospital on Monday because Aria had an infection in her neck. I also shared that my grandmother died that same day. I don’t think that I’ve fully grasped what has happened. I mean I know she’s gone but why am I not grieving right now? I’ll think about it and tear up but I think I’m just too numb.

Shes been eating pretty good here. She enjoys her breakfasts the most.

Everyone from home is being so supportive and checking up on us. My best friend went through a similar situation where she wasn’t able to focus her attention on her grandfather’s passing because there were other things that her mind had to focus on. She told me not to feel bad because my mind and body are so focused on my daughter and that’s where it has to be. The tears will come later when we go home.

They have a wonderful playroom right next to our room. So she’s been spending a lot of time there. Definitely helps to pass the time.

I just fear that I’m going to absolutely lose it. This whole thing is weighing heavy on my anxiety and depression. I feel like a zombie. I’m so grateful for the staff here… they’re amazing! The truly go above and beyond to make you feel supported and comfortable.

It’s just so miserable that during this COVID-19, no one can come and visit and keep us company. There are no visitation during this time. One person allowed with the patient and that’s it. I feel terrible that I can’t be more help to my family trying to plan my grandmas funeral during this pandemic. Everyone is pretty much on the island accept for my dads sister. So she’ll be flying down because she will have to 14 day quarantine here before we can have a burial.

This Barbie dollhouse has been her favorite. So, her dad went to Walmart and bought it for her. He’s setting it up so that she’ll be surprised when we get home. HOPEFULLY TODAY!!!!

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